I was in my late twenties, single and working for an environmental engineering company when one of my colleagues decided to set me up with his wife’s friend. At that time I was also moonlighting as a bartender for an event catering company and had a gig the night of the planned double date. Fortunately, it was an early event so I would have plenty of time to meet up at the restaurant. Unfortunately, the event ran longer than expected and, because this was before the invention of cellphones, I had no way to let my colleague know I would be late. I arrived about a half hour after I was supposed to and was given a rather disapproving look from my “date.” The evening turned out better than expected—given her initial response—and, feeling as though this woman and I had a connection, I was hopeful there might be a second date. At the end of the evening, she somewhat reluctantly gave me her phone number and we all went our separate ways.

A few weeks ago I wrote about the “flow” and its relationship to being present. I recently came across a compelling quote from the Netflix series “100 Foot Wave” that perhaps more effectively describes how an immersive experience can force its participants to be fully present. Garrett McNamara, a surfing pioneer who is credited for bringing big wave surfing to Nazaré, Portugal said, “Fear is something we choose. Fear is when we’re not in the moment, when we choose to think about the past or think about the future—two things that don’t exist. For the big waves, the only thing that exists is right now.” When you’re careening down a seventy foot wave at over fifty miles an hour, you can’t afford to be anything but fully present. This is the state of flow.

Several weeks ago, I mentioned the concept of “three minds” from sport and performance psychologist Michael Gervais. He identified “negative mind,” which is self-criticism, doubt and limiting thoughts that lead to a constriction of the inner experience. “Positive mind” is optimism, focusing on potential and possibility. And “no mind,” also known as “flow,” where we’re locked in, fully engaged in the present moment, with all thoughts fading to the background.

Reflecting on one of the fundamental truths we have as human beings, Bob Chapman, author of Everybody Matters and founder of Our Community Listens wrote, “People desperately want to know that who they are and what they do matters.”

It was early April, 2009 at the USASA National Masters Alpine Snowboard Championships at Copper Mountain. I had taken some time off from racing after a way-out-of-reach, over-the-hill attempt at qualifying for the 2006 Winter Olympics in Torino, Italy and I hadn’t trained or competed in several years. By default, I was the new guy on the block with no expectations or any real clue who I was racing against or how I might perform. This was a good thing.

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." 

For the past several months I’ve written about the challenges of staying in the present moment and why we tend to distract and self-medicate. The over-simplified explanation for this propensity is that most of us have a somewhat negatively leaning narrative going on in our heads, like a looped recording set on replay. And we often look for ways to quiet or avoid hearing the message. Sadly, our social culture is more than willing to provide countless, easily accessible options to accomplish this, usurping the most precious of resources—our attention.

Qui-Gon Jinn: “Don’t center on your anxieties, Obi-wan. Keep your concentration here and now, where it belongs.”

Obi-wan Kenobi: “But Master Yoda said I should be mindful of the future.”

Qui-Gon Jinn: “But not at the expense of the moment.”

Being Alive

Dopamine